I've really been slacking with my posts.  Still trying not to let everyday life get in my way - but it's a struggle.  And now that we've committed to P90X it seems that I have no evenings left.  I have been painting, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to learn how to speed up the process.  It took way too much time to paint this particular piece, especially considering that it's just a small painting (about 6X6).  I think if I just keep doing it, I will get faster and it will become easier.  I'm happy with how it turned out though.

I think that my color choices are getting better.  I have this one done and one other about half way done.  Not very close to having my portfolio completed like I had planned for this weekend.  I'll be out of town next weekend for my brother's wedding and then the following weekend my mother-in-law and father-in-law are visiting.  I'm afraid I won't get much more accomplished.  I'll have to keep motivated this week and see if I can at least get my current piece finished before we leave for the weekend.  And now I've said it to all of you - so I'm really going to have to follow through with that now.

That's all I've got for tonight - but I'll see you all again once more before I head of out of town for the weekend.   I hope everyone has a great week.

     I know, I know... I've been slacking a little - but I have been working.  Working out color pallets and I actually got started on one of my spot illustrations.  This month is going by fast and I still have a lot of work ahead of me.  Just taking one day at a time and getting done what I can.  Only a couple more days until the weekend.  I'll have more to share then.  Hopefully I can get a lot accomplished between now and Sunday.  I'll be sure to keep you updated.  Here's what's been going since this past weekend ....

realized after I started painting that I transfered the image backwards, oops.

I think it will still work just as well.  I don't think it really changes the composition at all - since it's just a spot illustration.  I suppose I can always flip it in Photoshop once it's done.  Anyway..  I should have this finished on Saturday and I'll post the completed piece.  See you then.

     I didn't want to be one of those bloggers that just goes on and on with long posts and no pictures.  (What can I say - I'm more of a visual person)  but pictures just aren't happening today.  Worked an hour of overtime tonight, so I left work about 6:30, walked home (1/ 2 hour walk) and then came home to do P90X.  Yes,  I did say P90X.  It's my 3rd day of it and I'm really feeling the burn now - kind of wondering what I've gotten myself into.  But I'm dedicated to getting in shape as much as I am dedicated to becoming an illustrator.  I would definitely say those are my top two goals to accomplish in my life right now.
      I didn't get to eat my dinner until 9:40 tonight, and now it's about 10:24 p.m., but I made a promise to myself that I would post something every Wednesday and Saturday.  So here I am .....  but once again as soon as Monday came around I haven't really accomplished anything with my illustration work.  Between the workouts and making a gift for a friend's birthday this week - I'm not sure where the time has gone.  But I'm determined to get something done tomorrow night.  I was thinking on the way home tonight about being happy and the idea that if you are not happy with your life you have to look at it and say "what have I done to make it that way" or more appropriately (especially in my case) "What HAVEN'T I done".  If things aren't how I like them then what do I need to do to make it what I want it to be.  I have nothing and no one to blame but myself and I'm ready to start making decisions that will make my life truly happy.    It's all up to me - and when I finally see that it's only me standing in my own way, things seem so much more within reach.  So happiness, here I come !!!   see you all Saturday.

this is a picture from a children's book that I worked on in college and decided to try a new take on it.  To use the same idea but try to have a little more fun with it.  Here is the completed piece that I did for my class (done in colored pencil) ....

and here is the new drawing that I'm currently working on for my portfolio .....

I know some people will like the first image better, but to be honest I never felt like I was truley expressing myself.  I felt like I was doing what I thought I "should" do, or what I thought my teachers were looking for.  I  don't really enjoy working so realistically, I'm trying to bring a little more fun into my work.  I will keep heading in that direction and I look forward to where it will take me over the years.  It will be interesting to see the evolution of it all.    Well, before this gets too long, I hope you all enjoy and I'm excited to share my progress with you throughout the month.

     Finally got done going through my sketchbooks and scanning stuff.  This was a much longer process than I had anticipated, but well worth the time.  I had a chance to really look at everything and see that there is cohesiveness that I thought was lacking for all these years.  I feel like I'm finally on the right track.  I still feel like I need to keep fixing and changing things - but I have to just take what I have a go with it.  I have to realize that I will continue to grow and get better and will always look at previous work and see all the things that I would do differently now - but I can't dwell on that.  It's time to take an idea and run with it.  I feel really good about what I'm going to work on this month.  Here are the drawings that I will be working from .....

Some are spot illustrations and some are more complete, full page illustrations.  I've been trying to come up with more full page drawings that have a character within an environment - that it is actually telling a a story, rather than some of the spot illustrations that are just about the character.

     So, I'm trying to be focused and have some direction.  I'm looking at this month and trying to figure out what I need to accomplish.  I have two more weekends after this, and then my 3 day Memorial Weekend!! My plan is to have all the pieces for my portfolio planned out and at least onto illustration board.  I need to have 10 - 12 pieces.  I have 3 for sure right now and a couple that I am going back and forth on.  So that means I need 9 pieces.   They need to be ready for painting by Memorial Weekend.  What would be ideal is that I have one or two of them done before that weekend - because my ultimate goal is to have this portfolio completed by June.  We have a lot going on in the beginning of June and that will be a great breaking point.  Then by mid June, when I'm back on track, I want to be ready to send stuff out.  This can't wait any longer.  I have made the decision to focus on Children's Illustrations (books, Magazines, etc ... ).  I had to find a direction and that is what I've always wanted to do - so there will be no more question as to the direction I want to take my illustration work.  I've also decided to stop trying so hard to find a style and just learn to have fun with it (but make sure that I approach it also with the knowledge that I've learned this far) but not to over think it.  There is a fine line there, but I know that if I don't loosen up about it and find joy in it I shouldn't even do it.  The point is to do what I LOVE.  If I don't love it then it will show.  This is a constant struggle in my life - to not over-think everything.
     The other struggle to overcome this month is finding inspiration and motivation when I have the time to sit down and work - and then carry that with me throughout the week.  One of my biggest problems is that my Saturdays are spent trying to find the inspiration to work (to not sit and stare blankly at the white page in front of me).   All week I think about the weekend ahead of me and how I can't wait to sit down and finally work on all the things I have in my head - and then when I finally can I find myself distracted with everything other than what I need to be doing.  Then by the end of the day Saturday I find what I'm looking for.  But then Monday comes too fast and I'm feeling frustrated that I have to walk away from this productiveness that I finally found.  As the week goes on I've completely lost all enthusiasm.  I have no motivation after a long day at work to come home and do any sort of drawing or painting.  Before I know it the week has gone by once again and there I am Saturday morning staring at that cold white page.  Posting on this blog twice a week is one of my solutions to this problem.  I have to keep drawing so that I have new things to post.  My hope is that it will get easier and easier.
     Right now I'm not going to fight this creative block that I seem to be having (which is my fault for having neglected my work for so long).  I'm going to find ideas that I've already had in my sketchbook and portfolio from College and bring them to life again.  There are so many that it's really not necessary to come up with all new stuff - but I hope that in the process of immersing myself in work again new ideas will emerge.  Either tonight or tomorrow morning I will post some of the sketches that I'm going to work from.  I have to get them scanned and then I'll post.  So, until then - I hope everyone finds the inspiration that they are looking for.

     This is the beginning.  Well, not the VERY beginning, but the beginning of making some real steps forward with my life.  I know that this isn't the first time that I've said that, but this will be the last.  This is the point in my life where I stop "saying" that I'm going to do this and I begin to take action.  This is the place where I stop dreaming of who and what I want to be and wishing I could be there, and start "living" that life - to begin living in the present and just BE me!
     I'm ready to say "I'm ok with being an ordinary girl."  I'm not the girl that just seems to have everything together, and I probably won't ever be, but that's ok.   I'm just an ordinary girl with big dreams and I will make them happen!

     This is a place to document my journey.  Originally I thought I would start something like this once I reached my destination - but then got thinking, what better time than now to start telling my story.  What better way to start living it than to be responsible in keeping this updated with my progress.  In order to make this blog work I HAVE to take steps forward.
     This will be dedicated to my art and forcing myself to sketch and draw and produce work to put on this blog.  Not to say that some of my personal life won't bleed into this, because this is more than just my work - it's my journey,  and that involves every aspect of my life.  The things that I do or don't do and the things and places that bring me inspiration.  I want a place where I can share those experiences.
     I'm ready to start being accountable for my life and put myself out there.  I'm done worrying about what other people will think or say about me, my work, what I say on this blog ......   I'm done censoring myself and I'm ready to be me.  Life's to short to spend it  hiding from the world, right?  So here I am - to share myself and my journey with anyone who might be interested.  Maybe someone out there is facing a similar situation in their life and can relate - or maybe you might just find this amusing.  Either way I invite you along to share in all of my ups and downs, my little steps and big leaps & everything else that happens in between.

THE PURPOSE OF THIS BLOG:
     The plan is to update this blog twice a week (for starters) and to always have something new that I've created,  am working on or found.  I've been too lazy in the past.  It's time to get the sketchbook out and begin finding that part of myself that makes me the most happy that has somehow gotten lost in the shuffle.      




 I did a little bit of sketching last night - unfortunately I just wasn't getting into it - it felt really forced.  But I do like this little Ducky guy - I may try and do something a little more with him.