So, I'm trying to be focused and have some direction.  I'm looking at this month and trying to figure out what I need to accomplish.  I have two more weekends after this, and then my 3 day Memorial Weekend!! My plan is to have all the pieces for my portfolio planned out and at least onto illustration board.  I need to have 10 - 12 pieces.  I have 3 for sure right now and a couple that I am going back and forth on.  So that means I need 9 pieces.   They need to be ready for painting by Memorial Weekend.  What would be ideal is that I have one or two of them done before that weekend - because my ultimate goal is to have this portfolio completed by June.  We have a lot going on in the beginning of June and that will be a great breaking point.  Then by mid June, when I'm back on track, I want to be ready to send stuff out.  This can't wait any longer.  I have made the decision to focus on Children's Illustrations (books, Magazines, etc ... ).  I had to find a direction and that is what I've always wanted to do - so there will be no more question as to the direction I want to take my illustration work.  I've also decided to stop trying so hard to find a style and just learn to have fun with it (but make sure that I approach it also with the knowledge that I've learned this far) but not to over think it.  There is a fine line there, but I know that if I don't loosen up about it and find joy in it I shouldn't even do it.  The point is to do what I LOVE.  If I don't love it then it will show.  This is a constant struggle in my life - to not over-think everything.
     The other struggle to overcome this month is finding inspiration and motivation when I have the time to sit down and work - and then carry that with me throughout the week.  One of my biggest problems is that my Saturdays are spent trying to find the inspiration to work (to not sit and stare blankly at the white page in front of me).   All week I think about the weekend ahead of me and how I can't wait to sit down and finally work on all the things I have in my head - and then when I finally can I find myself distracted with everything other than what I need to be doing.  Then by the end of the day Saturday I find what I'm looking for.  But then Monday comes too fast and I'm feeling frustrated that I have to walk away from this productiveness that I finally found.  As the week goes on I've completely lost all enthusiasm.  I have no motivation after a long day at work to come home and do any sort of drawing or painting.  Before I know it the week has gone by once again and there I am Saturday morning staring at that cold white page.  Posting on this blog twice a week is one of my solutions to this problem.  I have to keep drawing so that I have new things to post.  My hope is that it will get easier and easier.
     Right now I'm not going to fight this creative block that I seem to be having (which is my fault for having neglected my work for so long).  I'm going to find ideas that I've already had in my sketchbook and portfolio from College and bring them to life again.  There are so many that it's really not necessary to come up with all new stuff - but I hope that in the process of immersing myself in work again new ideas will emerge.  Either tonight or tomorrow morning I will post some of the sketches that I'm going to work from.  I have to get them scanned and then I'll post.  So, until then - I hope everyone finds the inspiration that they are looking for.