Fighting self doubts today.  They really have a way of sneaking up out of nowhere, but I refuse to let them win.  I keep telling myself that there is no way that I'm going be self defeating before I ever even begin.   A lesson that I thought I would have learned by now.  I think that being this close to finally sending my stuff out has flipped a switch - my "what if I'm not good enough" switch.  My "what if all these years I've convinced myself that I might be good and this, but really I'm terrible and have been fooling myself all along" switch.  I think about how this is all I've ever wanted to do, and all I've ever dreamed of my life being, and now this is the point of reality.  Either it will happen or it won't.  I'm not going to lie,  I've thought about what if things don't happen.  What then? I would have no idea where to go from there - and that is really scary.  It feels as though my life would end at that point (as dramatic as that may sound).
     But then I take a deep breath and remind myself that it could happen.  It's happened for a lot of people out there - even for some that might not be as good as me.  One thing I do know is that it definitely can't happen if I don't try.
     So I'm putting my brave girl face on and I'm going to go out there and see what happens.  I don't have anything to loose, but a LOT to gain.  So here I go.  One more piece to finish and then it's "look out world, here I come".  Wish me luck.

One more, before I say goodnight to my computer.

     I've decided that I have to have my portfolio completed by the end of October.   Here is one of the pieces that I've been working on for a long time.  It gave me so much trouble and just wouldn't come together so I kept setting it aside.  It feels so good to finally have it completed.

     It's the illustration for the song "I want a Hippopotamus for Christmas":

and I've also completed a group of spot illustrations for Halloween :

well, guess it's back to work.  I still have a lot more ahead of me and only a few short hours left of this day.  I'm so excited to finally be this close to making the next step.  I'll see you all again soon with more of my work.  Thanks to all of my friends and family that have helped encourage me to make this progress.  I'm so excited to be doing this, and I hope I can make you all proud.