Thursday, October 28, 2010

     Fighting self doubts today.  They really have a way of sneaking up out of nowhere, but I refuse to let them win.  I keep telling myself that there is no way that I'm going be self defeating before I ever even begin.   A lesson that I thought I would have learned by now.  I think that being this close to finally sending my stuff out has flipped a switch - my "what if I'm not good enough" switch.  My "what if all these years I've convinced myself that I might be good and this, but really I'm terrible and have been fooling myself all along" switch.  I think about how this is all I've ever wanted to do, and all I've ever dreamed of my life being, and now this is the point of reality.  Either it will happen or it won't.  I'm not going to lie,  I've thought about what if things don't happen.  What then? I would have no idea where to go from there - and that is really scary.  It feels as though my life would end at that point (as dramatic as that may sound).
     But then I take a deep breath and remind myself that it could happen.  It's happened for a lot of people out there - even for some that might not be as good as me.  One thing I do know is that it definitely can't happen if I don't try.
     So I'm putting my brave girl face on and I'm going to go out there and see what happens.  I don't have anything to loose, but a LOT to gain.  So here I go.  One more piece to finish and then it's "look out world, here I come".  Wish me luck.

2 comments:

Sue Hanson said...

Katie - All I've seen are your dog portraits and I thought they were good - these illustrations are fantastic! Don't ever think you don't have talent.

Michelle said...

Think positive! You are a true talent and if you keep pushing to make your dream a reality it will happen! The truth is, this is a hard industry to succeed in so there may be some rejection. Just remember that just because someone turns you down doesn't mean you aren't great at what you do, it means they were looking for something other than what you do! Don't let your doubt get in the way because you ARE good enough! Good luck and keep us posted!